Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answers:
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER
- To get to the other side.
PLATO
- For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE
- It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX
- It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY
- Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
- This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN
- I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
- To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES
- Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING
- Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly
competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship
with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical
distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry
Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its
skills,methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the
chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall
strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting
convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens
along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation
industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to
leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and
to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the
implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and
implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of
poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear,and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission,
vision,and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a
total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the
chicken change to become more successful.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
- The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed'
the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
- I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
MOSES
- And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there
was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER
- You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON
- The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT
cross the road.
BILL CLINTON
- It depened on what the meaning of "did" is.
MACHIAVELLI
- The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The
end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD
- Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think
to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place, anyway?"
FREUD
- The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
- I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE
- The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather,
it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked
in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN
- Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN
- Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the
chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA
- Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
- The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
- To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS
- I missed one?
As it happens, the above reminds me of an old Czech joke:
A motorist having run over a chicken crossing the proverbial road
asks a little boy playing by the road: "Was this chicken one of
yours?"
The boy gives it some thought and then shakes his head: "Nah... Ours
aren't as flat as that."
Which may or may not have any relevance to all or some of the above. You
decide! :-)
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