Consultant-speak version of an old favourite

Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period
     preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, And
     throughout our place of residence,
Kinetic activity was not in evidence among the
     possessors of this potential, including that
     species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus.
Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward
     edge of the woodburning caloric apparatus,
Pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an
     imminent visitation from an eccentric
     philanthropist among whose folkloric appelations
     is the honorific title of St. Nicklaus ...

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Mike Arnautov (23 December 2016)